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Squeeze Me: A novel-Carl Hiaasen

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NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • A hilarious novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida’s gold coast, from the author of Skinny Dip and Razor Girl“If you could use some wild escapism right now, Hiaasen is your guy.” —The New York Times WITH A NEW EPILOGUEAt the height of Palm Beach’s charity ball season, Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, a prominent member of geriatric high society, suddenly vanishes during a swank gala. Kiki Pew was a founding member of the Potussies, a group of women dedicated to supporting the President, who spends half the year at the “Winter White House” just down the road. Meanwhile, Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, is called to the island to deal with a monster-sized Burmese python that has taken residency in a tree. But the President is focused on the disappearance of Kiki Pew. Never one to miss an opportunity to play to his base, he immediately declares her a victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, it turns out, is far from the truth, which now lies in the middle of the road, where a bizarre discovery brings the First Lady’s motorcade to a grinding halt. Irreverent, ingenious, and uproariously entertaining, Squeeze Me perfectly captures the absurdity of our times.

Book Squeeze Me: A novel Review :



It was page after page of sophomoric jabs at Trump. For those that like trump, you will hate it, for those that hate trump, you will get bored agreeing and then waiting for a story to grab you, and for those of us that just read to enjoy life and maybe chuckle at all the multi millionaire self absorbed politicians, you will end up feeling like you are reading a TMZ printout when all you wanted was a good story. There isn't a story, I normally fly through all of his books but jeez, I didn't care about any of these characters, they could have all been strangled and I would have been ok. All those pages just to say Skank let out some snakes for a prank. Please don't bother, go reread one of his previous books
I have read all of Carl Hiaasen's adult novels, including the three co-authored novels from the outset of his career. I have also taught his wonderful novel DOUBLE WHAMMY for years. Unfortunately I found SQUEEZE ME to be a profound disappointment. CH still has the ability to create hilarious set pieces based on popular culture in its crassest forms but I had to force myself to read this novel to its conclusion.There are two principal problems. The first concerns the plot. The plot is the once-fresh notion that an ex-governor of Florida left the office and lives as a modern Tarzan in the Everglades or some other increasingly-spoiled spot. From there he takes revenge on encroaching 'civilization' by unleashing violence upon it. That violence sometimes takes the form of 'nature finding vengeance', in this case a set of nasty and grotesquely out-sized Burmese Pythons finding their prey among the blue-hairs of West Palm. The (only) likeable character among the principal dramatis personae is one Angie Armstrong, a former vet who was imprisoned for sticking a poacher's hand in an alligator's mouth. It is Angie (now a wildlife controller) whose job it is to catch the pythons. Her relationships with other characters are little more than skin deep and the meandering plot never focuses on her to any degree that could be characterized as engaging or successful. We basically have a set of linked events concerning largely-unattractive characters that are eventually resolved in a completely predictable fashion. The only redeeming facet of the story is the reappearance of ex-Governor Clinton ('Skink') Tyree's driver, Jim Tile. Unfortunately, Jim is aging and ill. While the first is inevitable the second is unnecessary. Jim deserves better.The reason for the failed plot is the fact that the novel's principal thrust is to punish Donald Trump for living in Carl Hiaasen's state (and for being Donald Trump). While he is never named specifically (both he and Melania are identified by their Secret Service nicknames) there is no doubt that the Trumps are CH's principal subject. The book is 'satire' but satire has its own rules and protocols and it usually results in a misfire if the satiric object is attacked for reasons that are not commensurate with reality. For example: DJT is completely vulnerable with regard to the color of his skin and his (here-imagined) proclivity for top-of-the-line tanning beds. Here, however, he is portrayed as fatter than William Howard Taft (who generally topped the Donald by around 100 pounds) and guilty of continually misspeaking in a manner that exceeds the failings of Mrs. Malaprop. Again, DJT has a recognizable accent and a driving tendency toward hyperbole, but he generally gets the names straight and has a facility at remembering specific details. He is also portrayed as an endless attacker of decent, upstanding illegal immigrants and CH's ridicule of DJT's identification of some illegals via gang numbers gives the impression that MS-13 is a collection of misunderstood boy scouts. The First Lady is portrayed as a libidinous pursuer of a Secret Service agent with an Anglo name who is actually an Arab. This crosses multiple lines and--worst of all in the Hiaasen universe—it is in no way clever or funny. Satirists always have a challenging task at hand, but even the most punitive satirist (satire generally being classified as punitive or persuasive) cannot afford to appear mean-spirited, vindictive and cruel for cruelty's sake.It is also a good general rule for satirists that they attack a 'common' target, one who is judged to be deserving of satire by the vast majority of readers. To antagonize one-half of the potential audience from the get-go is seldom a shrewd move.Bottom line: while CH still has some solid novelistic chops his political animus gets the best of him here and results in a novel that many will find flawed as a work of art and offensive as an exercise in scattershot venting. CH is a hard-hitting journalist with a vastly different 'persona' (qua journalist) than his laugh-out-loud 'persona' as a novelist. Here he gets his own lines crossed and appears more like a screeching denizen of CNN than a tough journalist/genial novelist who keeps his roles appropriately separated.

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